the dress

I can't really post pictures of the dress because Mr. Snoopy might peep.  I never understood how annoying, exhausting, depressing, and annoying it can be searching for THE DRESS.

Men have it eaaaaasy. 

Case in point: wandering in Hoboken, my fiance (yes he) liked a dress in the window we stopped to look at it.  It was overpriced polyester junk so we passed.  As we are walking back to the car, a sign read GRAND OPENING.  Guess what kind of store?  It was a suit/tux store.  Just for shits and giggles we went in.  Beautiful suits.  Right away the old man pulled some suits  that he thought would look nice on Steve and didn't even ask what his size was (not like Steve would have known) and then he put on THE suit.  A three piece tan seersucker suit with thin pin stripes and light weight for our July 2012 wedding.  The lovely gentleman said the suit should be altered a smidgen here and here and we could pick it up in a week.  We picked out two ties, and were out the door in less than a half hour, suit purchased complete with ties (we are still working on the dress shirt) and that was that.  I don't know what the etiquette/protocol is for suit shopping with your soon to be husband, but what I do know is when he put on that suit I got teary eyed.  Through out this entire planning process that's been my gauge, if I don't get teary isn't not it.

So that was the suit story, the dress story wasn't as romantic.  See timeline below.  After becoming annoyed at

• People cattle at Bridal Stores.
• Getting UNSOLICITED calls from David's Bridal even after I told them to stop- to my cell no less.
• Over priced made in china shit that resembled glorified curtains (ie. Bridal Gowns)
• Going to sample sales and being told the Maggie Sottaro dress complete with busted zipper, broken, missing, hanging beading, a dirty train, rips, and make up stains that was at least 2 sizes too big, was deeply discounted to $3,000.  It would have been $1000 to fix the fushtinkana shmata (yiddish for fucking rag)
• Knock off gowns made in china bait and switch horror stories (you tube it-very scary)
• No refunds on a dress I never got to touch/see until it was shipped to me.
• Finding elements in one dress that I loved and loathed.
• the realization that A. It's A dress that you wear once. B. It will be destroyed with our outdoor ceremony and dancing.  C. My daughter(s) will most likely not want to wear/remake it because white dresses (even) preserved may yellow.  D. I hate wasting/wasted money

Which led me to Etsy.  I love Etsy.  I was just curious and searching custom gowns, and I found her, Tova of Couture De Bride.  I looked at her designer/celebrity inspired gowns (made in the good ol' U.S.of A) from scratch in Teaneck, NJ, right there, in the shop.

Too good to be true?... not at all.  The actual shop specializes in modest bride wear (Orthodox Jew, Muslim, African-any other modest requiring religions) and won the Best Bridal Salon for Best of  Bergen Co. 2010. 

Tova is the head designer and designs non-modest gowns too.  Her creations are be-a-u-ti-ful.  I called her and she had the sweetest voice.  She listened and addressed my concerns and even invited me to be fitted by her at the shop (since we are practically neighbors being 15 minutes away).
Her range of talent spans from modest to not, classic to Gothic, "so in" and "out there" fashions.  Take some time to look through the site, some of the dresses are wild!! There is truly something for everyone.  They cater from sizes 0-40 with over 60 colors.  If you want to be a lime green bride, (I don't but) you can!  I'm still bummed that she doesn't make bridesmaids gowns. 

The turn around time for the dress is 3 months so I will begin in the fall by going to meet with her.
I asked (as any bride would) the what if questions-what if I gain/ lose weight, what if I don't like how it looks when completed, what if this, that, and the other.
She offers a guarantee-not money back-but to do/ redo the dress until we reach the goal.  That's much better to me realistically.  I rather that than "So sorry your wedding is coming up and you despise your dress - here's your money back, minus the solution, there's the door, go fuck yourself (in a sense)." 

But the old trust tear gauge that's how I really knew...I got teary eyed when I saw the first few dresses as well as after I spoke (ok, ok and a little during) to her. 

Here are some links about Tova at Couture De Bride
Designer Inspired Wedding Dresses (mine is going to be custom, but the inspiration is on this page)
Etsy (Tova's shop)


Time line of  the dress.